![animalstalkinginallcaps:
THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH. YOU’RE LIFE SAVERS. LITERALLY.
I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THERE WAS A SWAMP OF SADNESS HERE UNTIL I WAS ALREADY IN IT. THEY’RE PRETTY TERRIBLE. IT’S A REALLY LONG STORY, BUT MY COUSIN ARTAX ACTUALLY DIED IN ONE OF THESE. WHICH IS LIKE, SO SAD TO THINK AB-
AH, DAMN IT.
[preorder the book]
ARTAX!!!!!!](http://25.media.tumblr.com/5c6bfac92f9ab78e2c4b1d1258cc3a09/tumblr_mon1yxmV7R1qmf9gqo1_500.jpg)
![tastefullyoffensive:
Pizza brings people together. [via]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/6d04b3ca0e1bf45a61eed14a9f7d2836/tumblr_moebr41xX81qewacoo1_500.jpg)
![animalstalkinginallcaps:
YOU THINK I GIVE A SLIPPERY SHIT ABOUT ‘TODAY’S YOUTH’? RUNNIN’ AROUND WITH THEIR SPACE BEEPERS, GOOGLING EACH OTHER OR WHATEVER IT IS THEY DO?
BUNCH OF PISH. BACK IN MY DAY WE DIDN’T HAVE ZIMA XXX OR PISSED OFF BIRDS OR ANY OF THAT CRAP. I SWAM UPSTREAM, BOTH WAYS, JUST TO GO TO WORK FOR NINE HOURS. NOW THEY JUST SIT AT HOME AND BLOG ABOUT HOW HARD THEY GOT IT. ONLY THING HARD ABOUT LIVING IN THIS DAY AND AGE IS SITTING THROUGH FIVE MINUTES OF THAT GARBAGE THEY CALL MUSIC.
“GRANDPA, HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEW LADY GOGGLES SONG?”
“GRANDPA, DO YOU LIKE NANCY MINAJ?”
IT’S ALL JUST NOISE. HORRIBLE NOISE.
[preorder the book]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/620d32ce7c0d0ccecf757ae9256b3a5c/tumblr_mocv36KMlf1qmf9gqo1_500.jpg)
i recently went to a bridal shower for a friend who is marrying another one of my friends. they’ve been dating for about 2 years
we played the game where the m.o.h asked the bride to be questions which she had to answer based on what she thought her fiancee answered (sounds confusing, but makes sense)
can you believe this girl answered EVERY question right? like, how
i leaned over to my friend and was like “if this was me i would fail”
i’ve been with my man 8 - yes 8 - years and even though he is my best friend and i know him better than anyone on this earth, you think i know his answers to “what is the best quality about alex” or “what was the first movie you watched together” or “who is your celebrity crush”
ummmmm i’m sorry, there is too much shit that happens between people of 8 years to narrow down the answers to questions like that. impossible. the best quality about me? clearly everything. first movie we watched together? who knows, we were high as shit. who is your celebrity crush? WHO ISN’T MY CELEBRITY CRUSH! (or his, for that matter)
the long and short of it is that we are NOT playing this silly game at my future unplanned anything to do with a wedding
I’m going to this shower even if I have to wear a dress.
